


The Almighty Times

by supersmileys (gingerninja)



Category: The Almighty Johnsons
Genre: Facebook invitations, Gen, Newspaper Articles
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-06-05
Updated: 2013-06-19
Packaged: 2017-12-14 01:15:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,139
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/831011
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gingerninja/pseuds/supersmileys
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Those who are closely familiar with the Johnson family know why these strange supernatural events are occurring around Auckland and who exactly is involved with them, but how would an outsider view these events and these people?</p><p>A collection of newspaper articles, written advertisements and other pieces of "journalism" focused on the world of The Almighty Johnsons, but written from the perspective of someone who knows nothing personally about the characters. Our favourite characters WILL make appearances...if they are newsworthy enough...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Unexpected Meteor Shower Baffles Locals

_**The New Zealand Herald - February 8,**_ **2011**  
  
 **Unexpected Meteor Shower Baffles Locals**  
Melissa Coventry  
  
Auckland residents last night were witness to a fourth consecutive night of "shooting stars" gracing the night skies, leaving witnesses and astronomers alike amazed.  
  
Police were inundated with more than 700 calls to 111, with reasons including "the sky is falling" and "the neighbours are setting off illegal fireworks". 111 operators were instructed to inform callers that they were not in any danger, and to remind people that fireworks are legal in New Zealand unless purchased by a person under the age of 18.  
  
Local scientists are scrambling to find an explanation for the event.   
"Our equipment did not predict any sort of meteor activity for the next four months - and even then the sheer number of meteors that have burned through the atmosphere are unprecedented - there's either something major that we've missed on our telescopes, or there's something else causing these meteor showers - either way, it's concerning," said University of Auckland's Dean of Astronomy, Maria Wetzler.   
  
"I've not seen anything like this since 1930 when I was 8 years old and living in Hawke's Bay," Avondale resident George McCutcheon recalls. Records show that similar meteor showers were experienced in 1930 in the Hawke's Bay, to which no explanations have been found. The strange atmospheric activity was reported in both local newspapers and informal publications right up until February 3, 1931, when the Hawke's Bay was devastated by a 7.8 magnitude earthquake which killed 256 people. The earthquake coincided with the abrupt cessation of the meteor showers.  Mr McCutcheon then went on to explain the precautions he was now taking for what he claimed to be "an imminent earthquake", despite living in Auckland, a region not known for earthquakes.   
  
  
Even the conspiracy theorists had an opinion on the matter. Dane Watson, self-professed conspiracy theorist, put the event down to supernatural forces.   
"150 years ago, Norwegians arrived in New Zealand with a prophecy that the Norse God Odin will return. This meteor shower is much like the one described in Norse lore preceding the arrival of Odin." Mr Watson's comments were quickly dismissed by Dr Wetzler, who insisted that there was a physical and plausible explanation for the event, not a supernatural explanation.  
"We just don't know what, yet."   
  
The degree of panic prompted the New Zealand Herald to ask for a statement from the Prime Minister, who had declined to comment at the time this article went to publication.


	2. Chapter 2

**21ST BIRTHDAY PISS-UP  
** [INVITE ONLY] By Axl Johnson, Gaia Dolan and Zeb 'Freki' Adams

  
**Friday, 10 February, 2011  19:00**

  
Our best friend Axl is the next to turn 21! Join us at the flat this Friday for drinks, and then we'll move on to Axl's brother's house Saturday night for a proper barbecue. It'll be an informal do, but if you want to make a speech or something, please let us know so we can plan around it.   
  
Limited beer will be provided, but if you want to get really shit-faced we'd advise that you bring your own alcohol. Non-alcoholic drinks will also be available.   
  
Plus ones and additional guests are welcome to attend (the more the merrier!), but just run it by one of us first :)  


* * *

 **Posts**  
 **  
Write comment        Add photo/video         Ask** **Question**

 

 **Axl Johnson:** Gaia I love how you made Zeb and I hosts to this event, but it's obvious that youve done all the work. Youre a good friend :) **  
Gaia Dolan:** Consider it an early birthday present. I couldn't let my best friend have to worry about all this ;) **  
Zeb 'Freki' Adams:** Thank you for your concern, Gaia, but I'm really not stressed about this at all.    
  
 **Kahu Riley:** sorry, mate, i'll be in Dunners for the weekend! have a great bday though bro!  
                  **Axl Johnson** : awww no! you'll have to come round for drinks another time.   
  


 **Stacey Fuller:** Heya, I'm a mate of Gordos ;) is there gonna b parking at your party? **  
****Gaia Dolan** : Hey there! Our street is quite cramped and residential, but we can reserve you a spot on our front lawn if you like!  
                          **Gordo Gordon:** i dont remember you...were you the chick i hooked up with at amys party last weekend?  
                          **Stacey Fuller:** ;) <3  
  
 _Load more comments...._

   
  



	3. Largest Auckland Quake in 170 Years

NZNews.co.nz  
  
 **February 12, 2011**  
 **Largest Auckland Quake in 170 years**  
 **Jeremy Tofilau**  
  
  
Did you feel the quake? Click _here_ to email us your stories. 

* * *

  
Cantabrians aren’t the only New Zealanders quaking in their boots. Auckland last night was rattled by a 6.7 magnitude earthquake.  
  
The severity of the quake was accentuated by its shallow focal depth of less than a 1km deep – with the epicentre located just 7km south-east of Central Auckland.  
  
The quake was felt as far north as Kaitaia, and as far south as Taupo.  
  
Geonet labelled the quake as “damaging”; its interactive website was overwhelmed in the hours following the quake with ‘felt-it’ reports detailing contents damage to minor structural damage to local buildings. Unverified pictures on social media website Twitter.com also showed that roads and footpaths had suffered cracks and dents.  
  
Nerves are more frazzled than ever as the entire country still recovers from an unexpected 7.0 magnitude earthquake that hit the Canterbury region on September 3, 2010. Last night’s earthquake bears eerie similarities to September’s quake as it too occurred on a previously undiscovered fault-line.  
  
Auckland Geological Society president Temuera Jones expressed his worries.  
 “The last significant earthquake of this size in Auckland was in the late 1800s. Seismic events of this calibre here are generally associated with volcanic activity. But as this earthquake was not located adjacent to any known volcanoes, we have to consider the possibility that there’s another volcano buried under Auckland that has yet to be found, or that earthquakes will continue to rock the area.”  
The closest volcano to the epicentre is Mt Albert, which was last estimated to have erupted 20,000 years ago.  
  
Residents are growing more concerned as this earthquake follows strange astronomical activity happening in Auckland for the past week. Unexplained meteor activity prompted hundreds of calls to 111 earlier on in the week, and the coinciding earthquake has meant that some people are taking it as a sign of an impending apocalypse.  
  
Celebrity psychic Carla Matthews was one such person to endorse such thoughts, posting a picture on her Facebook page of her latest Tarot card draw with the caption “Anyone interested in Norse mithology [sic]  or who reads the signs will be able to understand what this means!”  
  
The lack of serious injuries was encouraging, said Auckland’s mayor in a statement given last night; “But we will be working closely with both the Wellington and Christchurch city councils in the very near future to discuss future earthquake strengthening strategy.”  
  
No aftershocks have yet to be reported. 


End file.
